criss4291

criss4291 @ 2009-10-11T17:04:00

2009-10-11T22:04:47Z

I'm really considering going there. plus the fact my parents want to move there. i love the idea. I would live on campus because they want to live in cape coral or fort myers. so i really hope that some time this summer i can go visit and see what its all about. I've noticed that I've been looking at universities in Ireland and london and found a couple but my parents would be scared to send me off. also is it weird that i'm more afraid of going to college in florida than i am to go to college in ireland??? just asking.

LOng time no see live journal

2009-09-03T00:45:30Z

How are you my good old friend? me? you ask well, I'm actually really well. I found that since i broke up with my boyfriend that all i really wanted was someone to hold me. He is an amazing guy and any girl that gets him is lucky, i guess that lately that I'm in love with the idea of love, and would like to some day, just to know how it feels.
So on another note. My best friend Cait, Left me for st. ambrose. And sarah well we havent talked since my Grandfather passed. But i hope to talk to her and possibly hang out with her over the weekend. I'm currently looking for a job, which i have horrible luck with. I've been reading a lot.

I feel as if I'm in love. but not with anyone specific. I guess I'm in love with life. I haven't hung out with any of my friends, but i hope to soon. So in my History 109 there is this guy that looks like paul walker with a getto slang and a ankle tracker ( The name for it escapes me). he's still cute... if he didnt talk. I met this guy in my OCS class. He's cool. we were talking about moving to Cali. i said i was looking at san fran and LA he was looking at the same. My teachers a cool. I love my mass communications teacher. He's great, he's teaching us all this stuff about how the internet cant be defined by the word and definition "MEDIA" because its something different. We're also studying all these ideas of it. I really enjoy it.
so I must leave you with this last thought.

Don't fret about Men. Worry about yourself first. then everything else will come. trust me. Its better to be happy with your self than be unhappy and with some one.

Hey From Florida!

2009-04-06T03:04:32Z

Currently just arrived in Florida! The weather is amazing. I got a date to prom, because mine skipped out on me. (FUN) so I’m taking Pat. It’s funny because since I’ve known him we said we were going to go to prom. Hopefully we can go camping afterwards. I REALLY want to go. its on the fact of convincing my mother. The good thing is we’re not drinking or any of that shiz. We’re just going to chill and sing songs around the camp fire. The thing is that my best friends BF which is my Best friend hates my date. So this is going to be interesting. So what did we do these past couple days Kiddies? Crisitna Got a blogger with the Title Of BRAIN Vomit! criss-brainvomit.blogspot.com/ Lol. She saw spring happen. AND she is taking another guy to prom that is not her BF. How are we going to explain this one?

Well till next time
Will love from the sunshine state
Criss

ugh...

2009-03-26T15:15:58Z

recently i have been fine. but im with a guy that a lot of people dont like and i feel if i tell some one that im going to get bombarded with "dont date him!" ugh.. Their is only a few girls i cant talk to him about.yes smitty your one of them. i love you for that. also theres another guy that i think i like but i dont wanna like. ugh. so this weekend me and tom are going to the mall. i feel like he has a tendencie to tell me what to do. i called him out on it and we talked which was really good. Also were going to the mall on saturday, he wants to buy me stuff and some people will say thats great I hate it. i feel like im depening on him. i told him i rather not because i dont have any money. but he insits on buying me clothes. UGH why. it just feels odd i like buying my own things. i feel weird and gulty when my famliy buys me stuff. i feel super akward when im standing next to the person while they pay for me.

this sucks

2009-03-04T18:38:06Z

I had about 3 anxiety attacks yesterday. I feel when she gets mad I beat myself up for no doing it right I’m a perfectionist when it comes to handling other peoples things. Tom had told me he loved me. That was a lot to take in. I wanted to go slow and I made the mistake of saying it to him. I feel like crying. Some Say that love is worth fighting for. But why? I don’t know what to say I wish I could just click my heels together and go home. But not the home with mom or dad the home where I can run away too. the one in that far off distant land where no one will find me, where it’s that moment in time where everything is okay. I just feel the pressure. I’m okay with it but it’s starting to become too much.

Sunshine and Bubble Gum

2009-03-03T18:42:34Z

Sometimes this isnt fair
The way you
Touch her
That could have been me

What makes her different?
What made me wrong?

I sit here watching the rose blush
I have one of my own,
But you were the first,
the only one.

Young moments where time stops
Where you never grow old
You never grow apart
i see the moments in time

Whats the point of this?
I do this to myself.
I try to find new YOU
but YOU is al i see.

I have no choice
This isnt what i wanted
This is what i live with.

I Find

2009-03-03T15:47:10Z

One thing i hate about going to an all girls school are the ideas of guys. Ugh. a girl goes out with a guy then you go out with that same guy and things are ACKWARD! then you might be lucky and get a girl where you laugh at it. But i feel so used when i see him. the way he acts, like he throws girls away and comes to them when he needs them. We had deep talk and how it makes us feel.But it seems that he doesnt care. Do i have the green eye?? idk i just want to tell the girl that he's holding becareful with this one. But if i do i feel like im going against our friendship. the tom boy and the boy relationship. i always told him to go for the girl. but when it come down to it. i think i created a monster. i was the one that told him to be confident. I tell him i havea BF he still wants to play. UGH! then when i say no he Run to the next best thing. It still makes me feel bad and i dont know why. ohh well and i havent talked to Tom since two days ago.. i feel bad. i tried calling him but he didnt answer. i really needed to talk to him. i was having a bad day... :( oh well.

laters loves

Criss.

Heres a chance...

2009-02-24T15:53:14Z

so there is the musical coming up and i really excited. i just wish there was a book called "being a Crew Manager" i feel like im letting G down. i feel like im a crappy crew manager. :( Today is the variety show! hope some people will try out. Crew Nikky is thinking of doing crew and Pat doesn’t care for him... DUN DUN DUN. Ha! oh well. Im hoping to go to Toms this weekend. Im freaking out about meeting his parents.
: /
So yesterday my mom freaked i was late getting to the car.. So i was call "Stupid". that was a new one for her. my mom told me that if it happens again then im out of the musical. i love how she said that she wasnt going to threaten me about it and here we go. I keep to myself. i dont get into trouble. and im in school activities. I love how im the black sheep. She pulled the guilt trip again. I told her i will take the Damn bus sho she can eat on time and her blood sugar is high. I dont mind taking the bus. She's worried but i need to Go out in to the world i need to learn.

Ahh

2009-02-21T01:23:18Z

waiting on a bus...... fun.... i got on the wrong one. angered at the fact that my mother doesn't support the fact that i need to stay after. I politely asked her if it would be okay for me to take the car. she went on a rant that
1) we dont have the money
2) if we didnt have to take the trip for my college she could have payed for it.
3) that i should know about the money issues....

ugh i'm really considering not going to prom so i don't get THAT thrown in my face.

Here is a list of things i NEED to do.

1) Call eddie for the adds - my brother is incapable to be dependent on. >: /
2) See if i would be able to see my father because i haven't seen him, :( and it would be a month this weekend
3) do CPR powerpoint
4) do CPR poster
5) english powerpoint<a
so currently i'm
6) buy fences
7)read Fences to page 25
8) take about 75 photos canidid and Posed for monday
9) Do 24 questions for world religions.
10) figure out what im going to wear on monday for WQoP
11) Go to Senior Vid which starts at 10:00 am
12) stay after Senior Vid for crew till 6:30
13) Clean MY ROOM!!! i dont like it messy
14) laundry
15) film Frosh and edit Arts with out borders for G
16) build machine where i could stop time and finish everything i can in just a few seconds

* i really would like to spend some time with tom. i cant seem to get him out of my head..... thats a new feeling for me...
so im just getting home 7:00

i thought it was funny

The day after

2009-02-15T17:50:39Z

So yesterday was valentines day and mine was actually really fun. I hope all of yours was too. I find that when you let yourself go you become friends with the most interesting people. So yesterday I went to dinner movies cuddled and kissed under the stars(cheesy enough for ya?) and i loved it… it felt odd letting my self be myself around a guy I really like. After the incident with Shawn I rather that not happen again. I find myself at odds with my emotions. I don’t want to get hurt nor do I want to be alone. I think I’m ready for a relationship and I do care for him. Maybe it could work…… I talked to my friend Andy. He’s getting engaged! Im soo happy for him. My friend tony is looking for a girl. I felt bad because is a good guy but girls don’t give him a chance. so the photoshoot im uber excited!!! I cant wait! Well I hope many of you had a fun filled weekend. Talk to you later my LJ peeps.

Love always
Criss

.....

2009-01-28T18:48:39Z

So currently I’m in my study class not doing my English that I said I would do. Sometimes I see my self looking in to the other lives around me. No I’m not trying to bullshit, but I do. I have a tendency to take myself out of the picture and admire it for what it is. I talked to my mother yesterday because my doctor recommended that I see a physiatrist. I’ve had depression for a while, but I can’t see a specialist till I’m an adult.

Me: so about what about the doctor said?
Mom: I told you I’m not letting that be on your medical record. What if you want a job?
Me: they can’t really say anything about that.
mom: but still. Plus I don’t think you have depression. You’re my daughter. I would know.
Me: (under breath) yea right
Mom: what did you say?
Me: No, that your right you would know.

I think about it know I’ve dealt with it since I was a child I didn’t need help then. I just moved on. So I would rather not talk to a random person about it. I think that possibly she may be right I can just be wrong. But who is truly the one to decide what is…?

Book reviews Spoilers?

2008-08-13T03:05:06Z

My recent book reviews.

Breaking Dawn- any think that makes kids excited to read is good. The last book of this Series was rather.... interesting. it was different i enjoyed it. i was scared that the author would pull a fast one and say...."And so i woke up." but didnt. bella seemed much older in this much more of a 26 yearold. i know because of the bundle of joy and marrage. i kinda missed the 18 year old mindset she had in the 3 other books.
over all i give it B+

The last lecture- It truly was an amazing book. its an easy read. my mother made me read it and of course, the teenager i am, bitched and moaned. but i got through it and it truly opens your mind.
i give it a A

The House of night book 1- I like that there was sarcasm, but it was other than that a short story line. nodoubt i enjoyed bit of it but it felt like i was sitting with a bunch of sophomores in my school as they talked about what happened last weekend and who hooked up with whom. the colorful language was diffrent. I thought it would of ben better to use in sted of FUCK on one page and CRAP on the other. no the author, im guessing has a weird way of saying things, decided to use poppie and bobbies. i ask "if your going to use the word FUCK might as well use Shit/Crap and TITTS. I have to read the rest of the series to give the rest of the review.
I give this book a C-

mind you its my opinion on the books im reading

when i ruled the world ...

2008-07-29T01:16:51Z

so im currently in my car waiting on my mother to come out of the store. good news tommorrow im going to 6flags. now im at jewels picking up food to cook. i think im going to tonys app. to eat his room mate is a cook so yeeea cant wait till this weekend TWILIGHT PARTY!!!!! were dressing up and going fuck yea!! o feel like Alice with making party plans then a week later meeting Steph Meyer!!! and in other news im going to ireland this summer with firends

more to say

2008-07-05T07:45:44Z

so 3 weeks since i wrote any thing wow so im going to a more to say concert on the 11th so im excited been talking to enrique and marty more so thats cool and yea cant wait for BD !!!! yep that is all whats new with u guys

i feel like im going to cry

2008-06-07T15:33:58Z

ugh so last nigt i couldnt sleep and when i finally did i had the most horrible dream.
i was having dinner with a friend ( im guessing it was my friend) then he was hold my brother eddies son. (my brother has been married for 2 years i think and still no baby) so i asked to hold the baby boy as we went to go sit down. we sat and its weird cuz the waitress referd to one of the waiters as romeo and that happen n another dream. so we sat down and ppl started to tell me i look beautiful for just having a baby. weird:/ . so some weird reason my ex was there with some of his friends and they sat next to us. i got up to get somthing for the baby. and ppl were talking about my shape and i looked really young. i gave the baby what it needed they went out side for a cig. then i was just walking around the parking lot. i saw my ex come out side i started to run around the parking lot and hiding from him. there was this dude on a 4 wheeler and i jumped on the back and told him i need to talk to the guy paul over there by the door. then my ex was telling he guy to let me off but i told the guy to go and he did. i made it to paul but i had to run. cuz my ex was following me and then thats when it happened. i was in the front of my dad house arguing with him. then he slaped me i went off on him i had a glass of champain in my hand and bashed it on his head then we started to fist fight. i some how got a hold if somthing sharp and stabed him but then that shocked him he gabed the object and pushed me down and was hovering over me with it. he looked me in the eye and said " im sorry my love". i saw the sharp object come down and he stabed himself. he kept doing it till he was on the floor dieing. i rember crawling to him. he was bleeding so much. then i held his head in my hands and told him that i loved him over and over again. then he died thats when i woke up. ugh i was crying sobbing. i have no clue what this means !!!

amazing song and other junk that has happen to me

2008-06-03T15:43:20Z

So 1 month no s. so proud of my self. whoohoo.
listening to the new cold play single i really like it its diffrent. It make me happy.

So i'm excited for the BD book and the twilight movie. My friends and I are going to be compleat and absolute dorks and go dressed up to a BD party. LMAO were going all out. im buying contacts and a wig. but idk i might be leah clearwater. or victoria so if YOU GUYS THAT ACTUALLY READ THIS would like to help me in picking who i should be :) it would be AWSOME!!. its really funny cuz i didnt want to go and they talked me into it and im the one thats going to look rediculous. my cuz messaged me ! i was so happy i love him. hes awsome LMAO. so i hope he comes from mexico to visit me, But he goes to school in texas grrrr i wish he could come to chicago! So i reconnected with marty which i dont know if that was a good thing. ..?_?

so i want to make a happy summer play list but only have about 5 songs so sugest some that would be kick ass!

i hope i passed the algebra test i just took ugh....

so any way im continuing to write the story that i was talking about in perivious entry. if any of you that would like to read it message or comment.:) i already have on e of my friends hooked.

twilight and the life i live

2008-05-06T03:52:46Z

ok so i love being off from school who dosent but i was gone for two days and the world passed me by. im now more tired than ever and way pass due with some homework. ugh and i hav wqop due so were taping during school. and i wish people were more excited to do it but its not so its a drag. imscared shitless of college. my teacher came up to me and told me that she could get me a scholorship for depaul summer program. but she gave me the paper and the dead line was past due so now i have to call the lady and see what she can do. i really want to work with film i really do it just that there is so many good people out there and im quite inexperianced.

so enough with that rant.
twilight

im re re re re reading the book yep i loves it. but it sucks cuz i cant read it as muchas i would like becuse i have to read gastby so very limited time. talked to an old friend today, andy, god did i miss talking to him hes so calming. idk it weird. when i talk to him he actually makes me fell like im doing the right thing. ive known him since 7th grade. so back to twilight. i saw the teaser trailer and WOW im excited as all hell! i feel like im the only syco thats excited out of my friends. so im cuting it off here. now i have to go bull shit a paper on robber barons woop de fucking do

first time in a long time

2008-04-26T18:25:19Z

so many will now that i enjoy promoting undergrown chicago local bands * more to say look them up on myspace* so about a year ago i meet these dudes and well there the ones who added me. i deleated my mysapce later made a new one and i stll remebered there name so looked them up and added them. started to promote them and here i am talking to u guys about them. these guys have stars in there eyes there humble and funny truly they care more there fans then any thing and i hope u guys look them up. i was talking to the bassest Marty and asked him what he truli wanted to do if his music didnt take him far it was almost the truest response from and artist. "ill be a suite by day and playing music at night" this is the mans dream he dosent play for the stardom but for the stardom of the fans and the music. i hope with somehelp with u guys and the internet world they can have that little push that they would truly be appreciated.

confession

2008-04-24T06:33:48Z

i need to stop these lies

the story of 2 years

2008-04-20T01:53:53Z

so currently ive been trying to write a story for the past 2 years. i keep getting destracted and it dosent help tat i wrote it on paper no im transfering it to computer and its still not done ive given the product to 3 people already no feed back yet. it think im calling it the odd one out. iv had one person read the first pages of it and they liked it do im hopeing that it will do the same for the others. its somthng that im truly not use to writing. im the one that writes the poems and the songs never a book nexted im going tot try writting a script to a movie thats been playing in my head. the characters are some what alive for me. the fact that im typing it help too get familiar to what i wanted to do.im waiting on my firnd to give me my new moon book back ugh i hate lending them out when i know i wont get them back. prom was yesterday and i had a couple of friends over for and ani prom night. but i really wanted to go which defited the perpus of it. sorry agin for the type os im on the phone and its dose get a bit crasy with my fingers every where on this key board. i think i type faster on this that i don my computer.:) any who i think im going to read twilightht for the third time this year i know i know but i ove the book. im wicked excited for the movie to come out its going to be the shizniliet. <-- owned my be. ok well im finally done blabing im going to lay down and relax.
later my fellow twilighters and LJ-ers
till next time
Criss

get r dun

2008-04-13T21:49:12Z

okay so im driving my cousin home. and well ive notice that 9 year old have a mouth and are too much of smart asses both in a good and bad way. so besides that lets get on the subject of Marty
Marty: Noun hes a sweet sarcatic asshole that has too much of a big heart too. i cant get enough of talking to him. he is the one i can talk to about comics and not feel like an ass
but there are problems im worried that its going to be another shawn relationship
i have a questin for all u LJ-ers out there
Whats WRong with me?????!
i always go for the older guys im trying to go for guys my age but most are imiture and a few teenagers now are all about sex drugs and falling in love all to fast. im not saying all im just saying some. i guess i went through that fase when i was younger, i guess im over it. but are there truly any other guys out there that i would be interested inthat are my age? and i knows this sounds crazy for some but i dont want to have sex i think it complicates it even more.
i know what i want but i guess its to hard to find? well i have to go were pulling up to my tio's pizzaria
hopefully you comment my fellow LJ-ers
much love
Criss
PS im typing on my phone so excusse and type-os

so this is new

2008-04-08T00:38:46Z

so this is new im curently writing on my new phone. so i met up with an old friend today susan. we went out for dinner at this mexican resturant. yummm. i had carne asada. and there was this super cute guy there yummy lmao. vut i tried to pawn and sell shawns ring that he gave me. it was38 dollars the dud was offering it cost 86 thats fucked up but yea he asked for an id lolyea ok so ur suppose to id me but u sill gave me an offer blah i have to go somewhere else for that shit. oh and im mad at marty i feel like he uses me it pisses me off and i agve susan my book new moon so she can read it. ugh i hate to admit it but i miss having some one to talk to like i did with shawn :( i guess thats life ttylu my fellow live journalist love always Criss

SOmthign HOrrid !!

2008-04-01T15:50:51Z

so somthing is going to happen the 2 of april. my birthday and some of my friends are planing on a big celebration with some ppl i prob. wont even know oh well and then were thinking of going to medivil times woot. thats one place i want to go :) so prom i think im going with a friend of mine joe so that would be fun and im dressing all funky and shit. 3 class of the day and just want to go home and sleep the most wonderfull present that i could have for my birthday would be sleeping in and watching movies with my Bestfriend :D sadly there is going to be more parties this weeknd. though i do like a good pary from time to time but i really dont like getting to the point where i cant rember the night before. i guess since i was at that stage before im over it. but i think im going to cancel insted. bells about to ring laters drears

a new place to live and a time to day dream

2008-03-25T23:19:13Z

soo i did it :) i moved woot wooot its painted a pink red but its cute. im having my friend susan come over to draw the flower today. hells yea Yo! so i was looking through all my "OLD" stuff and i found some old photos of friends. i dont know what to do with them? And some old note book... hmm.... ill figure it out i guess soon enough. i guess as friends we just fell apart; that life right? well so as i was cleaning all this morning i was thinking to my self WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO FOR MY BIRTHDAY? i have a couple of people in mind that i would like to have over. but i think this weekend i might do somthing with my stepsister. I honestly dont like big parties myself. ooo i was talking it over with my friend sarah j that we should go to medivile times LMAO . we planed on going last year but yea didnt happen so maybe this year i think its going to be a go dutch treat. that would be fun. since the move i have no internet so i have to use my stepdads computer. so i dont have a lot of time to get down here and type. i had the weirdest dream last night. it was about shawn leaving me a meassage saying he loved me. and today i found THE RING. it was all to odd for me today but oh well. im like uber tired and want to sleep but i cant. this house feels empty. i know that im growing up and life is getting well it just moving. some times i remeber my 8th grade teacher saying to me well yelling at me "cristina daydreaming isnt going to get you anywhere in life". it just makes me wonder the coolest shit that would ever happen is that i get the job the i was"dreaming" about go to her face and say "HA! daydreaming does get you some where you old HAG!" but it just a wish. i was suppose to look at collages this week of course they didnt want to take me. if they truly understoood what i need in life they would understand. i was thinking where i was going to be in life ya know like... im not always going to be here at this house im going to get older and move out get a life and a job. then sooner or later im going to want a family .. right ? it scares me some time that im just living in my little world and i cant escape it in time. im procatinating in my morality home work. i should possibly get down to doing it. it will probly take the whole week to finish it. ugh.. why do they insist on making projects to make things look nice it like im in kindergarden. i just want to do the reserch and get it done. not put in a booklet that in know that the only person that is going to read it is the teacher. talk about a waste of paper and good time. that just my opinion.

so today besides well cleaning i went for a drive. the only thing about living this far out is the senery. so i went for a drive just ya know to drive and while i was out i thought to my self. what would happen if ijust kept driving. just to see where it would take me. to see how far i will get. i can imaging just calling my mom saying "hey mom yea i think im taking a week off from life an ill call you when i can im just driving to see where it takes me." i can just imaging what shell say. then i started thiking where would i go? would i go to new york , some where ive never been. or to florida a safe haven where im comfortable in. Oregon some where i would never thik of going. washington to visit my cousin and new babies. Cali and drive the cost see the sights.

its funny they say Daydreaming cant get you anywhere ... i can tell you that i took me to all those places in just a single car ride

so i say dream on, dream on becuse friendships go , and relationships might not last, but the one thing you will have forever is that passion to dream and to dream big.

BiG Girls ~

2008-03-12T18:41:12Z

so you know what just really pushes my buttons ! the fact that there are girls, big girls that beleve that they have to be 95 pounds to believe that there beautiful. i understand that there are some girls that have it in there genes and thats why there metabolism is so much better then others. i myself am not the skinnies person in the world and i would like to lose a FEW pounds to get to a healthy weight. NO but girls are staving them self, OVER exercising. it just really bothers me i know these girls have a problem i know they want to be excepted, but i do it in the right way. in high school were taught that about who will be the elite and powerful and who will fall under that power. its sick i tell you it truly angers the fuck out of me. i try to help but theres nothing i can do. i feel helpless in a way. i cant do anything to change their mind. it all set, its a plan thats been set in to motion. what else is there for me to do. i dont have the time and the abliity to so it any more.